just spent the better part of an hour watching a game of ‘Aussie Rules Football’ on television and I’m still no better off for understanding it other than players cannot simply throw the ball ala Gridiron nor throw it backwards ala Rugby, but instead have to punch it. They may also kick in any direction though they cannot carry the ball for very long, having to bounce the ball but from what I saw, it appears they may only bounce it once.
Confused? I was and I was watching the damn thing.
The players also seem to have complete disregard for the pitch markings which seems a little bit bizarre, with players seemingly running in and out the markings at will. Even more out of the ordinary was that every complete pass was met with a whistle which seemed to be coming from the direction of the referee, only to hear a shout of ‘Carry on’, a million miles away from Football where (usually) the referee’s whistle results in an immediate stop of play, it certainly never means ‘play on’.
What is most well known about ‘Aussie Rules’ is that it’s pretty (read: damn well) violent, I’m sure we’ve all seen videos on YouTube of players getting clotheslined around the throat, ripped down to the ground and even punched. Rather frightening. However, when watching it there didn’t seem to be anything too out of the ordinary (aside from people slamming into each other in the first place – though in Aussie Rules no one seems to wear any protection), until one player wearing the number 44 for St Gilda’s made another rather impressive catch whilst being torn down, the commentator comes out with “I don’t know why he’s improved so much, perhaps it’s the broken cheekbone or perhaps the blood transfusion, but he’s a much better player now”.
The most unexpected feature of Aussie Rules when I was watching it was just how big the pitch was. It really is enormous and on first appearance it looks to dwarf those of a Rugby pitch, Football (soccer) pitch and an American Football pitch, it really was huge. I guess that’s why you never seem to see overweight Aussie Rules players in the videos, had I been playing I think it’s far to say I’d be on the deck, gasping after 5 minutes.
I guess the biggest shock was the fact I watched it in the first place and I would say it’s fair enough to say that had I not been bored to tears without any contact with the outside world via the phone or Internet I wouldn’t have watched it, nor will I ever likely go out of my way to watch it again, but it’s not as thuggish or as unskilled as I ever thought. Quite impressive.
On the subject of Aussie Rules, I found the following quotes which I just think sums up those outcasts in Australia, particularly those mental enough to play AFL:
“I owe a lot to my parents, especially my mother and father.” – Shane Wakelin
“Nobody in football should be called a genius. A genius is a guy like Norman Einstein.” – Mick Malthouse – Collingwood
“I’m going to graduate on time, no matter how long it takes.” – Peter Bell – Fremantle – on his University Law studies.
“You guys line up alphabetically by height,” and “you guys pair up in groups of three, then line up in a circle.” – Barry Hall Sydney Captain at training
“I can’t really remember the names of the clubs that we went to.” – Brock Maclean (Melbourne) on whether he had visited the Pyramids during his visit to Egypt.
“He’s a guy who gets up at six o’clock in the morning regardless of what time it is.” – Kevin Sheedy on James Hird
“It’s basically the same, just darker.” – Jonathan Brown on Night Grand Finals vs Day Games.
“I told him, ‘Son, what is it with you. Is it ignorance or apathy?’ He said, ‘Barassi, I don’t know and I don’t care.’ “ – Ron Barassi talking about Gary Cowton
“I want to kick 70 or 80 goals this season, whichever comes first.” – Barry Hall (Sydney) when asked about the upcoming season.
“Luke Hodge – the 21 year old, who turned 22 a few weeks ago.” – Dermott Brereton
“Chad had done a bit of mental arithmetic with a calculator.” – Mark Williams
“We actually got the winning goal three minutes from the end but then they scored.” – Ben Cousins – West Coast Eagles
“I’ve never had major knee surgery on any other part of my body.” – Luke Darcy
“That kick was absolutely unique, except for the one before it which was identical.” – Dermott Brereton
“Sure there have been injuries and deaths in football – but none of them serious.” – Adrian Anderson
“If history repeats itself, I should think we can expect the same thing again.” – Andrew Demetriou
“I would not say he (Chris Judd) is the best centreman in the AFL, but there are none better.” – Dermott Brereton
“I never comment on umpires and I’m not going to break the habit of a lifetime for that prat.” – Terry Wallace
Garry Lyon: “Have you ever thought of writing your autobiography?”
David Swartz: “On what?”
“Well, either side could win it, or it could be a draw.” – Dermott Brereton
“Strangely, in slow motion replay, the ball seemed to hang in the air for even longer.” – Dermott Brereton
“Any time Carlton scores more than 100 points and holds the other team below 100 points they almost always win.” – Lou Richards
“It’s only puffy when it’s swollen.” – Anthony Rocca, Collingwood describing his broken finger.
“We talked five times. I called him twice, and he called me twice.” – Eddie McGuire
“I think everybody gets caught up in superstitions. But I don’t put much stock in them … knock on wood.” – Jason Akermanis, Brisbane
“If you can’t stand the heat in the dressing-room, get out of the kitchen” – Tony Shaw
“It was never part of our plans not to play well, it just happened that way” – Ron Barassi
“Apart from their goals, St Kilda was scoreless in that opening quarter” – Eddie McGuire
“It may have been going wide, but nevertheless it was a great shot on target” – Brian Taylor
“They didn’t change positions, they just moved the players around” – John (Sam) Newman
“Kicked wide of the goal with such precision” – Sandy Roberts
“Wakelin conceded five, you don’t get many of those to the dozen” – Rodney Eade
